Dear Heavenly Father, From the top of the mountain, the view is perfectly empty and completely full. I can see over the walls and past the boundaries. I now know the way. My ascent has moved heaven—moved it closer to me. One sun, one moon dance in the sky. Room for only two in their forever union. My recent steps have happened at an accelerated speed. At the same time, it has taken my whole life to get here. Now, my mind is circling back over the details of each step, puttin

Dear Heavenly Father,   The sub-zero temperatures have been accompanied by clear skies. I’ve been watching the waxing moon move in its clockwise path every afternoon. Today, it was nowhere to be found.   To leave what is dead is to let old identities and false beliefs die—things that are no longer serving me. I’ve seen myself as the orchid for many years, who I believed the flower was supposed to be, and what I believed the flower was supposed to do. I told the story of me  a

Here lies our dear flower, dead and departed, She dedicated herself to everything she started, Then ended this life giv’n her efforts wholehearted.   She magnified her calling for the world around, Searched for the right and gratitude found, Her talents, she developed and gathered, abound.   Willing to change and sacrifice for the better, She took the hard path to forgive the debtor, No challenge brought down, nor trial beset her.   Everything she created with detailed care,

Dear Heavenly Father,   It was one of the coldest days of the year to take a walk down by the river. I had to prepare myself for the -13-degree temperatures. I covered my feet with two pairs of wool socks and tucked them into fur-lined boots. I layered up with thermals, a fleece sweater, and my warmest down jacket. I put hand warmers in my gloves, then covered my head and ears with a knit beanie.   As I prepared, I thought not only about the written prayer I would bring with

Dear Heavenly Father,   I closed my last written prayer and then turned my eyes towards the sky. Snowflakes were falling. The emptiness could not have been more full. But then the flakes stopped as quickly as they had started. The clouds floated down, then the wind whisked them away along with the loose snow, brushing it across the ground. The sun came out for a brief moment just to be shadowed by mist. The stars shone in the night sky but then were quickly covered in grey. T

I was born in the tent, And told I was free, To choose for myself, Life… or captivity.   The tent is a covering, Must stay and obey. Beware, if head not, A price I would pay.   So, life in the tent, I accepted as true. There’s nothing outside, The walls, all I knew.   But the tent got small, The taller I came, ‘Till I grew a great need, To look past the frame.   That tent held tight, To its stakes in the ground. When one pulled up, A crevasse I found.   Not sure was the tent,

Dear Heavenly Father,   Our last communion left me feeling empty —or, I should say, emptied. I must tell you that feeling is uncomfortable, disorienting even. My humanness would have me fill that emptiness with looking at pointless screens and listening to useless media or focusing on past fears and future worries. But then, the emptiness calls to me. It has a fertility to it that I can’t quite explain yet; a seed of something that wants to grow.   So, I’ve been watching my e

Dear Heavenly Father,   The clouds cleared from the mountain yesterday, and the sun came out in full array. I watched it rise in the morning, then bow over the mountain peak. I could not peel my eyes from the perfectly blue atmosphere. I wondered to myself and repeated to you, “The sky is clear, but it is not  clear to me. I do not know.”   The moon is in her new phase, so after the sun set, the blue atmosphere turned pitch black. An eerie feeling swept over me when I looked

She didn’t quite come out of the cloud, But for a brief reveal, did remove her shroud. The mountain peak, she rose above in the sky, Peering down at me with this warning reply. Not fear, not doubt, nor pain holds you down, It’s your ego, dear daughter, that doeth make you drown. That fixed story of  I —you fancy you’re tall, Told the real truth, you build yourself small. While overlooking what is by seeking for more, Indeed, you gain nothing; rather find yourself poor. Knowin

Dear Heavenly Father,   I decided to fast for three days with the intention of taking on a physical task that compares with the spiritual task of forgiveness. My fast began at 12:30 pm on Thursday, after a filling lunch.   On the first day, I thoughtfully considered what I might seek forgiveness for, as well as people in my sphere I would forgive. On day two, the clock seemed to slow down to a creep, and although I was surprisingly not hungry, I had to regularly distract myse

Dear Heavenly Father,   Last time we spoke, I mentioned a pattern in our prayers. I didn’t see it until the morning of my hike. But what I have intuitively and organically followed are the seven steps to healing. One, awareness. Two, truth. Three, love. Four, consecration. Five, sacrifice. When I saw the pattern, I realized the next step is forgiveness, for self and others, then completion.   The first time I took these steps, the result was my written book, Restoring Virtue

In the light of the sun, I'm commanded in all. I walk the walk, And hear the call. He's knowledge, He's truth. I cannot hide. Obedience required. Repent of pride. But the light of the moon, Speaks peace be still. Be careful, come back, Each step fulfill. She's wisdom, She's strength. I'm kissed goodnight. Healed with love, My wrongs made right. To each I look, For different parts. A balance, a unity, Of my parents' hearts. One issues and leads, He holds the keys. The other te

Dear Heavenly Father,   When I committed to hiking the West Butte Trail, it was partly because several inches of fresh snow had fallen, and I pictured tromping through a glorious winter wonderland. Sadly, when I went to bed the night before, I could hear raindrops hitting my window, and that picture turned into a muddy, icy mess. I didn’t want to go and wasn’t sure if I could go if the trail conditions were poor.   A fitting mood, as I recently felt a nudge from you to set th

My disappointment that you weren't there, Only shows how much I care. My wrestle with faith, in strength I grow. Asking for answers upon me to bestow. And if I cry and wail and weep, It doesn't mean that I am weak. Quite the opposite, I stand to prove. On crooked paths I shall not move. All the feelings weed out the fray, Clear the path and mark the way. With courage I follow by your side, The lighted way the struggle provide. And this is how the story goes, Each soul who cho

Dear Heavenly Father, I typed “Amen” on my last written prayer, and I looked out the window. The mist was so thick I couldn’t see past the edge of my yard. It lay in the valley, and covered the river, and hid the mountain peaks. I’ve spent more time contemplating my dream. I’ve set out to find the group of women behind the mist and talk to them. I don’t know if they are women who have answers or who are looking for answers. Or if the dream means that all women were born with

I sent my first written prayer, What Does it Mean to be a Woman in God's Eyes? , into the world without explaining the many layers behind my thoughts.   When I was 19 years old, I had a dream that I would lead women to Christ in the last days. Since then, I’ve tried to fulfill that purpose, which I’ve come to call a personal ministry. While I started this ministry focused on healing from sexual abuse because that is the trial that brought me to my Savior, it has evolved into

Father, when I said my prayer, And asked if you were really there, You spoke to me with tender care.   I’m seen, I’m loved, I am unique. You blessed me with a soul so meek. A spirit that draws me to you, I seek. The answers come; the answers go. Some are fast, and some are slow. Patient or not, I’m forced to grow.   A broken heart I bring to you. Replaced with love I’m given anew. By atonement, a Savior has felt this too.   I finally found the path for me. A calling, a minist

Dear Heavenly Father, I travelled all night to meet you. After a red-eye flight to Phoenix, exhaustion put me to sleep in the front seat of a rental car in a hotel parking lot. I woke to my own thoughts, “God, your daughters need you,” pleaded my inner voice. In perfect synchrony with that thought, the sun burst out from behind a building that had shielded its view, as if to make known your presence. Could there be no better place to commune with you than your holy temple? I

Dear Heavenly Father, I deeply need and desperately want to know, What does it mean to be a woman in your eyes?  I know you love me. I see your guiding hand of truth in my life. I believe in redemption and in the promises I’ve made. I feel the enabling power and grace of your son, Jesus Christ, which has lifted me far above my fears. The scriptures teach me that to know myself, I must know God—that life eternal is to know you. How then can I know myself and receive life etern