A View at the Top

Dear Heavenly Father,

From the top of the mountain, the view is perfectly empty and completely full. I can see over the walls and past the boundaries. I now know the way. My ascent has moved heaven—moved it closer to me. One sun, one moon dance in the sky. Room for only two in their forever union.

My recent steps have happened at an accelerated speed. At the same time, it has taken my whole life to get here. Now, my mind is circling back over the details of each step, putting them all together.

Part of me doesn’t want to circle back. I want to keep moving forward. I have so enjoyed the speed and the moments we’ve spent together. But then, I hear a friend’s voice, “Emily, you can’t get too far ahead. I’m coming with you.” I understand that it is needful for me to take some time, perhaps a long time, to get to know the mountain while I wait for others to join me.

I have a ritual planned. I’m going to purchase a bundle of fabric, measure it, cut it into pieces, then sew it back together in a pattern of my choice, layer it with wool batting and a fleece backing, then bind the edges. As I do this, I will imagine reconstructing my faith into a pure religion, one where only love, truth, and freedom reign. A place called Zion for my heart and voice.

Father, will you help me with my ritual? When I complete this quilt, I’m going to give it to a special woman in my life.

I need you, she needs you, your daughters need you. But, Father, we also need our Mother. Is our collective healing not tied to our divine identity? And is our divine identity not tied to Her feminine power? And how can we truly know what it means to be a woman in your eyes without knowing how you see Her?

I imagine sometimes that I, and all your children, are behind a curtain playing out the greatest, most epic, drama-filled eternal story. The story of a man and a woman whose shared love expands over time and space. Whose creations are challenged by darkness, and only their love can save. I don’t know how the whole story goes, but I do know that their love cannot fail.

Your Daughter Sincerely,

Emily

Amen.